If your communication skills determine your future success, what are you doing to improve them?

How good are your communication skills? And do you ever think about the way you are communicating or about the conversations you are having?

We all know good communication skills are essential for success in both personal and professional life.

When you communicate effectively, you are able to express ideas clearly, listen actively, and build strong relationships. Effective communication builds relationships, reduces misunderstandings, and enhances problem solving by ensuring that all parties are on the same page.

Do you even know what this means? Think about the way you communicate in your business and ask yourself this one question:

The one ‘BREAKTHROUGH QUESTION’ you must ask to help yourself…

When it comes to communicating effectively, most of us have mastered the basics and take our ability to communicate for granted. However, if you want a better career or better life, you might consider working to further develop these skills.

Richard Branson understands the importance of communication, and one of his favourite quotes is:

“Communication is a skill that you can learn. It’s like riding a bicycle or typing. If you’re willing to work at it, you can rapidly improve the quality of every part of your life.”  – Brian Tracey

This quote is important because great communication matters. Richard Branson would not have been so successful if he had not honed his communication skills.

But bad communication is everywhere – we have all seen it, been exposed to it, and have witnessed its effects every day, both in business and in our personal lives.

Bad communication leads to misunderstanding, confusion, conflict, or a breakdown in trust. It often fails to meet the needs of the conversation, because it's unclear, unempathetic, poorly timed, or misaligned with the context.

Here are a few examples:

Lack of Clarity:  The instruction, decision or conversation is vague, overly complicated, or full of acronyms, buzzwords or jargon, making it hard to understand what is being said.

Poor Listening:  During the conversation, the person is interrupting, checking their phone, or making it otherwise obvious that they are not listening to you – they’re just waiting to jump in with what they want to say next.

Over-Talking or Undercommunicating:  One person dominates the conversation, talking too much without listening or, on the flip side, when you want more information, they say too little, so you are not really sure what is happening.

We have all been involved in conversations like this, and many of us still are, every day.

How do you change this in your business?

You become a supercommunicator…

A supercommunicator, as defined by Charles Duhigg in his book: Supercommunicators – How to Unlock the Secret Language of Connection, is someone who can skilfully navigate conversations by recognising what kind of conversation is happening and adapting their communication style to match. They don’t just speak clearly, they listen deeply, ask the right questions, and create emotional safety so that real understanding and connection can happen.

What is a supercommunicator?

“The most effective communicators pause before they speak and ask themselves: Why am I opening my mouth? Unless we know what kind of discussion we’re hoping for – and what type of discussion our companions want – we’re at a disadvantage.” – Charles Duhigg, Supercommunicators:  How to Unlock the Secret Language of Connection

Charles Duhigg believes a supercommunicator is someone who consistently creates deeper understanding, connection, and trust through intentional and adaptive communication.

Supercommunicators don’t just talk well—they recognise the deeper structure of conversations and tailor their approach based on what the moment calls for.

Here are the key traits of a supercommunicator as described by Duhigg:

They identify the type of conversation

Supercommunicators recognise whether a conversation is:

• Practical (focused on solving a problem)
• Emotional (centred on feelings or personal meaning)
• Social (about relationships and belonging)

They match their communication style accordingly, because misalignment leads to disconnection.

They listen actively and demonstrate that they understand

Supercommunicators show they’re truly listening, not just by remaining silent, but by reflecting back, asking thoughtful follow-up questions, and repeating what the speaker has said. This builds psychological safety.

They ask the right questions

Instead of just fact collecting, they ask open-ended questions that invite people to share more. This creates space for deeper, learning-focused conversations.

They built a sense of trust through showing vulnerability

They’re willing to share personal experiences or admit uncertainty when appropriate. This invites mutual honesty and a stronger human connection.

They have learning conversations

Supercommunicators approach conversations with curiosity. They aren’t trying to win arguments or persuade through force, they’re trying to understand and connect, which often leads to better outcomes.

A supercommunicator is someone who doesn’t just communicate more, they communicate smarter, by tuning into the emotional and relational layers of every conversation.

Harvard Study of Adult Development – 6 key insights from 85+ years of research

“A higher degree of social integration was associated with lower risk of illness and death at every stage of life.” – Annual Review of Psychology

The Harvard Study of Adult Development is one of the longest-running studies on human wellbeing in history. It began in 1938 and has followed several hundred men and, later, their families, across their entire lives to discover what leads to a healthy, happy, and fulfilling life.

We can learn the following from this study (also known as the Grant Study), which has followed participants for over 85 years:

Good relationships lead to health and happiness

The strongest predictor of long-term health and happiness is the quality of close relationships. People with deeper, more satisfying relationships tend to live longer, healthier lives and experience greater emotional wellbeing.

Social connections protect physical and mental health

Those with strong social networks are less likely to develop chronic diseases such as heart disease, diabetes, and arthritis, and experience slower rates of cognitive decline.

Warm relationships matter more than wealth or intelligence

Financial success and intelligence were less important for life satisfaction than the warmth of relationships. For example, men with warmer childhood relationships with their mothers earned more and had better health outcomes.

Alcoholism and mental health issues are major risks

Alcoholism was found to be a significant source of early morbidity, divorce, and mental health problems among participants.

Marriage and social activity extend lifespan

Married people, especially those in supportive relationships, live significantly longer than their unmarried counterparts.

Regrets focus on relationships

In later life, participants most often regretted not spending enough time with loved ones, highlighting the lasting importance of relationships over work or achievement.

These findings consistently emphasise that nurturing close, meaningful relationships is central to a long, healthy, and fulfilling life.

Your communication skills are at the core of your relationship success.

Communication skills and the success of ‘Blue Zone’ regions such as Okinawa, Japan

“Connecting with others can make us healthier, happier, and more content. Conversations can change our brains, bodies, and how we experience the world.” – Charles Duhigg, Supercommunicators – How to Unlock the Secret Language of Connection

Blue Zones are regions where people live significantly longer and healthier lives than average. A Blue Zone has people with exceptionally high life expectancy, low rates of chronic disease, and a high proportion of healthy centenarians. Okinawa in Japan and Sardinia in Italy are two such Blue Zones.

Their success is attributed to a combination of strong social connections, a sense of purpose, regular physical activity, a predominantly plant-based diet low in processed foods, and effective stress management.

Communication skills play a vital but often overlooked role in the success and longevity of people in these well-researched Blue Zone regions.

Social connection is also vital to longevity. In Blue Zone regions, strong social connections are consistently identified as a critical factor contributing to exceptional longevity and wellbeing.

Communication skills are central to building and maintaining these connections, enabling individuals to build supportive relationships, resolve conflicts, and create a sense of belonging within their communities.

Okinawa’s Moai: Communication in action

A defining feature of Okinawan culture is the concept of Moai – lifelong social support groups formed early in life. These groups provide emotional, logistical, and, sometimes, financial support, functioning as a safety net throughout an individual’s life.

Effective communication is essential for the success of Moai, as it allows members to:

• share personal experiences and challenges

• offer and receive advice or support

• coordinate group activities and mutual aid

• express empathy, gratitude, and encouragement

This regular, open communication within Moai reduces stress, improves mental health, and creates a sense of trust and belonging, all of which are linked to longer, healthier lives.

Communication and community cohesion

Across all Blue Zones, including Okinawa, residents benefit from tight-knit communities where daily social interaction is the norm. Strong communication skills help individuals:

• build and maintain friendships and family ties

• participate in group decision making

• navigate intergenerational relationships, especially in multigenerational households

• engage in purpose-driven groups, such as religious or hobby groups, which provide additional layers of support and meaning

Purpose, inclusion, and well-being

The Japanese concept of Ikigai – a sense of purpose or ‘reason for being’ – is closely tied to communication. Sharing one’s purpose, listening to others, and engaging in meaningful conversations reinforces a sense of value and belonging within the community.

This is echoed in research showing that transparent, inclusive communication in business (and by extension, communities) enhances motivation, productivity, and satisfaction.

Health benefits linked to communication and social interaction

Numerous studies have shown that individuals with strong social relationships have a significantly increased likelihood of survival compared to those with weaker ties. Regular communication and social interaction can:

• lower stress and levels

• improve mental health and resilience

• provide emotional support during difficult times

• provide a sense of security and reduce feelings of isolation
  

Conclusion

Communication skills are foundational to the social structures that define Blue Zone regions such as Okinawa. By enabling strong, supportive relationships and building a sense of community and purpose, effective communication directly contributes to the remarkable health and longevity observed in these populations.

Created with the help of the Perplexity AI

3 key topics for successful conversations (adapted from Charles Duhigg's book, Supercommunicators)

“The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.”– George Bernard Shaw

From his deep research into what makes a supercommunicator, Charles Duhigg believes you need to pay attention to the KIND of conversation you are having. If, when having a conversation with someone, whether this is a member of your team, your manager or your spouse, you are not having the same kind of conversation, you are unlikely to connect.

There are 3 kinds of conversations:

You don’t need to always agree with everyone all the time. You just need to make sure you are having the same kind of conversation and then be curious and genuinely interested.

Demonstrate you are listening, learn about the goals, feelings, beliefs and values of the people you are talking to and learn what matters to them.

The book and other resources

Who and what are supercommunicators? They're the people who can steer a conversation to a successful conclusion. They are able to talk about difficult topics without giving offence. They know how to make others feel at ease and share what they think. They're brilliant facilitators and decision-guiders. How do they do it?

In this book, Charles Duhigg unravels the secrets of the supercommunicators to reveal the art – and the science – of successful communication. He unpicks the different types of everyday conversation and pinpoints why some go smoothly while others swiftly fall apart. He reveals the conversational questions and gambits that bring people together. And he shows how even the most tricky of encounters can be turned around. In the process, he shows why a CIA operative was able to win over a reluctant spy, how a member of a jury got his fellow jurors to view an ‘open-and-shut’ case differently, and what a doctor found they needed to do to engage with a vaccine sceptic.

Above all, he reveals the techniques we can all master to successfully connect with others, however tricky the circumstances. Packed with fascinating case studies and drawing on cutting-edge research, this book will change the way you think about what you say, and how you say it.

Click here to read the book.

What people are saying about this book:

“This is not just a riveting read about how to understand others better. It’s also a revealing look at how to be understood. Charles Duhigg delivers a winning combination of stories, studies, and guidance that might well transform the worst communicators you know into some of the best.”   –  Adam Grant, author of Think Again and Hidden Potential

“Our personal and professional success depends upon our ability to understand and be understood, and yet, we typically leave this up to intuition. In Supercommunicators, Charles Duhigg goes through a mountain of research ― and some riveting stories ― and unearths practical tactics to show that anyone can become a more effective listener, speaker, and even social media poster.”  – David Epstein, bestselling author of Range and The Sports Gene

“Charles Duhigg does it again, with a book we all need to read. Using his unique mix of stories and science, he gives us Supercommunicators, a guide to better conversation and deeper human connection. If you want to improve your communication skills at work and in life, this book is the place the start.”  - Arthur C. Brooks, Professor, Harvard Kennedy School and Harvard Business School, and author of From Strength to Strength and co-author of Build the Life You Want

Here is a great TedTalk from Charles Duhigg, where he explains the science behind how to have dramatically better conversations.

He starts by asking the crowd to go out into the world and ask a total stranger a question:  “When was the last time you cried in front of someone?” And he then explains why this will be the best thing you ever do. Click the video below to watch the talk.

Here is an article from Harvard on 8 ways of improving your communication skills.

Click here to access the article.

And here are some more of Richard Branson's favourite quotes. Click the link here to access them.