Difficult Conversations
Difficult conversations should never undermine the success of your business
Engaging Tweets
Can you afford to let your business stagnate by not addressing the difficult conversations?
Don’t delay – have the difficult conversation today and watch your business succeed.
Running a successful business means you cannot and should not avoid the difficult conversations.
Difficult conversations are a vital and necessary aspect of running your business.
Avoid the sleepless nights and have that difficult conversation you have been putting off… NOW!
Do you find it hard to talk to your staff, then use a learning approach to a difficult conversation?
Your business will succeed if you have an honest and open approach to difficult conversations.
Even the most successful business managers can ‘learn’ from new approaches to difficult conversations.
Treat difficult conversations as ‘learning conversations’…
A difficult conversation can be a solution building conversation if the purpose is clear.
Make your difficult conversion one of curiosity not certainty.
Mutual understanding is the only resolution to a successful difficult conversation.
Can you handle the truth, then have the difficult conversations your competition is scared to have?
Take the business advantage by addressing the 3 truths in any difficult conversation.
Challenging conversations don’t have to undermine the success of your business.
How do you turn difficult conversations into motivating magic for your business?
Don’t assume that your version of events is the truth in a difficult conversation.
Employ the right skills and turn a difficult conversation into an opportunity for business growth.
Avoid the blame game and make difficult conversations work for you and your team.
Don’t hide your feelings in a difficult conversation, they are the pathway to success.
Don’t let an issue linger because you cannot discuss how you feel, address your feelings and ensure a successful solution.
Feelings, nothing more than feelings… Don’t let them hold you back in a difficult conversation.
Dissolve difficult conversations, by unlocking your feelings.
The route to changing your feelings in a difficult conversation is through unlocking your thinking.
Express your feelings openly in a difficult conversation and the rest of your team will too.
Don’t let issues linger, address them and see the benefits to your business.
Difficult issues do not go away, as a business can you afford not to have the difficult conversation?
Treat difficult conversations as a learning opportunity for your business.
Stand out from the competition and make your business profitable by having open and honest conversations.
For any difficult conversation to have a successful outcome you must address the 3 truths
The key to the resolution of any difficult conversation is accepting that there are 3 truths
The truth is out there, and you don’t need Mulder and Scully to solve difficult conversations in your business.
LinkedIn Updates
Update 1:
Build your ‘difficult conversation’ skills and watch your business succeed.
Nobody likes the idea of confrontation, in fact most of us avoid it. We feel that by confronting an issue we might make the situation worse. But not all difficult conversations have to be about confrontation and argument, if done right they are about clarification and resolution. Click here to read more.
Update 2:
Take your business to the next level by skilfully handling difficult conversations.
We all have that nagging voice in our head that tells us we need to have a difficult conversation with someone, a conversation that if it took place would improve the work environment and the team’s morale. But fear drowns out the voice and we put the conversation off. Meanwhile the issue does not go away and the consequences of not dealing with it can be costly to your business. Have the courage to handle the conversation with confidence by reading the latest edition of Business Bitesize here
Update 3:
Maintain your business performance by facing the fear of a difficult conversation.
Having those difficult conversations are never easy and they definitely aren’t fun but the skills and steps laid out in this latest edition of Business Bitesize (click here) will provide you with a way to approach difficult conversations without creating a negative, confrontational situation within your working environment. Difficult conversations are a way of life but they don’t have to disrupt your life.
Update 4:
Master the art of a difficult conversation and avoid awkward situations.
Being a business leader can be a lonely business and requires the ability to make some tough decisions and face some very awkward situations. How you deal with those situations will determine whether your business succeeds or fails. Handling your employees and customers can at times be one of those tricky situations, that’s why mastering the art of a difficult conversation of crucial. Click here to build your difficult conversations.
Update 5:
Learning conversations make the best kind of conversations.
If we are willing to see ‘difficult conversations’ as ‘learning conversations’ then we will see patterns in how we handle the conversations and decisions, we are then able, with courage, to make changes to those patterns when they are not working or we see a better way, or adapt as we go depending on the person or persons you are having the conversation with. Learning through the conversation is the key to a successful resolution. Click here to learn more
Update 6:
Remember! Your skill to make the conversation one where both parties learn can make the outcome very different.
Difficult conversations are hard to have, hard to prepare for and require courage. If you make your conversation a learning conversation instead of wanting to win and get your own way, you will want to understand what has happened from all points of view and figure out how to move forwards, this then makes the conversation much easier to have as you are all working towards the same goal. Click here to learn more.
Update 7:
The three truths - the truth is out there.
Like Mulder and Scully, we all know the truth is out there. Mulder based his belief on his gut, how he felt and his previous experiences. Scully based hers on science, facts and something real and tangible. In fact, for the truth to really be fully recognised you have to have a little bit of both.
For any difficult conversation to have a successful outcome you must address the 3 truths:
· Their truth – learn their story, ask what has happened from their point of view and how that made them feel, really listen and do not interrupt, even if you disagree. Once you understand their point, it may influence what you say, and you may learn something you did not know.
· Your truth – Share your story, express as well as you can your side of the story, share your version of events, your feelings and beliefs, your concerns, and intentions. Avoid blame or accusations. State the facts.
· The third truth – Solve the problem together, work towards a solution through mutual understanding, then with the facts, issues and feelings you have shared seek a new way forward that will work for both of you.
To read more on how to make the 3 truths work for you click here.
Update 8:
The value of the third truth to greater business success
For any difficult conversation to have a successful outcome for your business you must get to the truth, the real truth and nothing but the truth. This involves their truth, your truth and most importantly a shared truth, this final truth is a truth based on both parties accepting, appreciating, understanding and respecting the others point of view and then openly and honestly agreeing to move forward with a solution that encompasses a future both are happy with and a sense of mutual understanding. If you get the third truth right the agreement you have reached will be sustainable and your business will grow as a result. Read here for more on managing difficult conversations by addressing the truth…
Update 9:
Be OK with disagreement, it’s the first step to resolution
In order to ensure your ‘difficult conversation’ has a successful outcome you have to accept the fact that you are not always right. This is hard as within any conflict we come from a position of being spurned, hurt or affected by the other person’s behaviour. However, the first thing you must accept is that you both have a point of view and listening (really listening) to both sides of the argument is the first step to successfully fixing the situation. For more on how to transform your conversation skills read here.
Update 10:
Avoid the blame game…
Blame in any ‘difficult conversation’ must be avoided. It inhibits our ability to learn what’s really causing the problem and do anything meaningful to correct it. Blame is about judging and looking backwards, when the purpose of this conversation HAS to be looking forwards.
Its easy to blame and use phrases like:
‘You aren’t pulling your weight, your lazy and you leave me to do everything’
However, contributing to the conversation must be about understanding and looking to the future, putting aside blame doesn’t not mean that you are putting aside your feelings, but they need to be expressed carefully and with facts not emotion. To read more on the way to express your feelings without blame read here.
Update 11:
Never assume you have all the answers in a difficult conversation…
Any difficult conversation handled well should be a two-way thing. You both have your points of view as to how the situation has arisen, but you will also both have ideas as to how to solve the situation. Never assume you have the answers, don’t go into the meeting with preconceived ideas. The purpose of your meeting must be resolution – asking great questions can again be your best friend when exploring the options, standards worth pursuing and ideas worth testing. Please read here for more on how to ask great questions to dissolve a difficult conversation.
Update 12:
Manage difficult conversations and turn them from a business negative to a positive.
Mastering the art of difficult conversations can help reduce the hassle, the stress and the challenges in your business.
Managing difficult conversations well using the skills shared in this BBS (click here) can propel you to both greater profits and to more success in your business.
Update 13:
Here are 4 helpful hints for you when faced with a difficult conversation:
· Decide on whether to deal with it or drop it
· Extend an invitation to have the discussion
· Pursue a learning conversation and seek out the third truth
· Acknowledge the differences and the feeling in your two contrasting views
To learn more click here.
Update 14:
Start treating difficult conversations as a learning opportunity and make them a valuable part of your business.
Difficult conversations rarely disappear into the ether; they will always be there nagging you. Dodge the difficult conversation and your business will not reach its full potential. For more insights please read the book ‘Difficult conversations – How to discuss what matters most’ by Stone, Patton and Heen. This is based on 15 years of research at the Harvard Negotiation Project and walks you through a step by step process of how to handle difficult conversations. For more details please click here.
Update 15
Like Mulder and Scully, we all know the truth is out there. Mulder based his belief on his gut, how he felt and his previous experiences.
Scully based hers on science, facts and something real and tangible. In fact, for the truth to really be fully recognised you have to have a little bit of both. Click here to learn more.
Update 16
For any difficult conversation to have a successful outcome you must address the 3 truths. Click here to find out what these 3 truths are and how to make them work in your business.
Facebook Posts
1) How you deal with the difficult conversations within your business will inevitably determine how successful you and your business are. Click here for more.
2) Difficult conversations are essential to the successful running of your business. Click here to build your difficult conversation skills and watch your business succeed.
3) Do you ever want to discuss something with a member of your team, but are worried about their reaction, the affect it will have on their moral, work rate and the rest of the team? Having this conversation should be put off no longer. Click here to learn that mastering the art of difficult conversations can help you reduce the stress and challenges in your business.
4) Make your ‘difficult conversation’ a ‘learning conversation’, genuine learning conversations dissolve difficulty, eliminate the ‘blame game and help all parties arrive at a successful resolution to the issues before them. Click here to learn how and why.
5) Handled badly a difficult conversation could see someone shut down and stop participating in finding the solution. If you approach this conversation from a learning point of view, then it is proved that the outcome can be a very different one. Click here to read more.
6) Never assume you cannot benefit from a new approach to difficult conversations, we have all had them and will have them in the future. Let’s face it, they rarely go as planned. Read here for the skills to have a ‘learning conversation’.
7) Using carefully crafted questions, seriously listening to the other persons point of view and demonstrating you understand them can help resolve all the issues raised in a difficult conversation, don’t believe me, read here for the proof…
8) Click here to learn how to build the skills to turn your ‘difficult conversation’ from a drag on your business performance to a driver to business success and competitive advantage.
9) By looking at a ‘difficult conversation’ as a positive and necessary occurrence within your business you are already on the way to making your business a success. Click here to learn more.
10) Managing difficult conversations well and using the skills shared in this edition of Business Bitesize, can propel you to greater profits and to even greater business success.
11) Use a difficult conversation in your business as an advantage and employ the skills within this Business Bitesize to effectively resolve the conflict and build a strong and diverse team.
12) Like any difficult conversation, there are skills to handling it well. Read here how to build your ‘difficult conversation’ skills and make them work for you and your business.
13) We all know the conversations that we dread, but click here to learn that if we develop the skills to make the discussion constructive with a clear purpose, the outcome can be a positive one for both parties and the business as a whole.
14) Listening and understanding are two of the most important skills to master when having a difficult conversation. Employ the simplicity of listening and understanding and you ensure your difficult conversation has a very different outcome. Click here to learn more.
15) Feelings cannot be avoided when having a difficult conversation. Your business will succeed if you share your feelings in an open, honest environment, they are the key to dissolving your difficult conversation... Click here to learn why.
16) A successful learning conversation is full of feeling statements, it is the only way to successfully resolve the issues you have. Listening to each other’s feelings will bring a mutual understanding to the situation and dissolve your difficult conversation, click here for more...
17) Difficult discussions often centre around feelings, expressing these feelings carefully whilst avoiding being emotional will help you manage the situation to a successful and workable conclusion for you, your team and the business as a whole. Click here for more.
18) Difficult conversations are critical to the health of your business, don’t put them off, make them part of your business routine and have a happy team and happy profits too. Click here to learn how.
19) Difficult conversations rarely disappear into the ether; they will always be there nagging you. Dodge the difficult conversation and your business will not reach its full potential. Click here to learn more.
20) Click here to learn how difficult conversations when handled well, can result in big leaps forward for your business.
21) Improve your ability to ask great questions in a difficult conversation and you’ll be more skilled at listening and understanding, this will allow you to seek out the solution together and make your business a profitable one. Click here to learn more.
22) Like Mulder and Scully, we all know the truth is out there. Mulder based his belief on his gut, how he felt and his previous experiences.
Scully based hers on science, facts and something real and tangible. In fact, for the truth to really be fully recognised you have to have a little bit of both. Click here to learn more.
23) For any difficult conversation to have a successful outcome you must address the 3 truths. Click here to find out what these 3 truths are and how to make them work in your business.
Blog Posts
BLOG 1 - Difficult conversations should never undermine the success of your business...
Nobody likes the idea of confrontation, in fact most of us avoid it, but not all difficult conversations have to be about confrontation and argument, if done right they are about clarification and resolution.
We all know that feeling when a difficult or awkward conversation is looming. It occupies your mind, for far too long actually. You think about it in the shower, on your drive to and from work, before you go to bed and it most likely causes a sleepless night. The length of time you spend thinking about it is, in reality much longer than the conversation would be. You talk to yourself about how you feel, how its affected you and what you are going to say. Sometimes you even prepare answers to what the other person or persons might say, although this is difficult to do, given you are unsure of their reaction. Most of this preparation is because you anticipate that the conversation will turn into a disagreement and you will need to defend yourself and how you feel.
By confronting the situation, you are worried you might make it worse, but if you are doing ANY of the above how could you? But the problems don’t go away by themselves, so having difficult conversations is vital. They are a fundamental and critical part of running a successful business. Click here (URL to your webpage BBS) to read all the necessary details for turning a difficult conversation into a business success…
BLOG 2 - Treat difficult conversations as learning conversations and build a happy and successful business.
We all want our business to be as successful as possible, you want the best team, the best products and services, the best customers and a healthy profit. To achieve all of this you have to have a healthy and honest business. This means that if a difficult conversation needs to be had, you need to be equipped with all the skills to be able to handle it.
Handled badly a difficult conversation could see someone shut down and stop participating in finding the solution. It might also result in a fierce and strong expression of emotions when things are said that cannot be taken back.
If you go into the conversation all guns blazing you are unlikely to get the outcome you desire, however rather than treating these conversations as ‘blame game’ message delivery exercise, treat them as ‘learning conversations’
Genuine learning conversations dissolve difficulty, for more click here (URL to your webpage BBS)
BLOG 3 - Seek out the 3 truths in any conversation and turn conflict into resolution in your business...
Think of a conversation you have been putting off…. Got it…
This is a time when you know you should talk to someone, but you have been delaying, or maybe you have had the conversation before and it has gone badly, or maybe you fear that talking about it could make the situation worse. So now you feel stuck…
You need to go back to the drawing board and start with these questions.
What is your purpose for having this conversation?
What do you hope to accomplish?
What would be your ideal outcome?
Why would you launch into a difficult conversation without being clear on the purpose for it? If your purpose is unclear or not constructive, then no matter how you handle it, it’s going to badly.
Your purpose is to see out the three truths.
- Their truth - learn their story
- Your truth – share your story
- The third truth - solve the problem together
These three truths will help you move towards resolving the issue or conflict. To read more about the 3 truths and how to put them into practice click here - (URL to your webpage BBS).
BLOG 4 - Handle difficult conversations successfully with these 10 dos and don'ts...
Like any difficult conversation, there are skills to handling it well, however when you are in the heat of the moment or feeling that you are being verbally attacked it is very hard to maintain the level of focus required to manage those skills.
Therefore, you will need to prepare for this conversation by setting out with a clear purpose in mind. Make notes for the conversation, write tips for yourself to ensure that you keep on track. Ensure that you have the three truths at the heart of what you are wanting to say and achieve, here are a few handy hints.
· Do not start the conversation with your view of things, instead start by asking the other persons point of view.
· Really listen to what the other person is saying, be curious, interested, even make notes if needed.
· Don’t interrupt to express an opinion or disagree, in fact don’t interrupt, let the person fully finish what they are saying.
· Avoid the blame game – like you’d avoid throwing petrol on a barbeque.
· Acknowledge the emotional energy and feelings but try to direct them towards a useful purpose.
· Don’t take what they say personally – at the end of this you want a resolution.
· Don’t assume they will agree with you, remember your differences have brought about the conversation.
· Demonstrate that you understand what they are saying and appreciate their honesty.
· Share your point of view, including how are you feeling.
· Ensure that the conversation ends positively – the key is to work towards a mutual understanding not a mutual agreement.
To read more about how to handle a difficult conversation and the skills involved please click here - (URL to your webpage BBS)
BLOG 5 - What do you have to do to get bigger better buy-in from your employees?
Feelings are an unavoidable part of every difficult conversation. Fail to get your colleague to express their feelings and they will not hear you. People stop listening because they are thinking about how they are feeling.
The cost of asking someone to share their feelings can be risky as you are unsure of their emotional response, some will be measured, some upset and some hysterical, however unexpressed feelings stop the conversation from moving forward and block our ability to fully listen and appreciate the other persons point of view.
If unaddressed feelings will either leak out or burst out. Feelings are often at the heart of every difficult conversation.
A successful learning conversation is peppered with feeling statements and questions, for a successful discussion about feelings you must be open and honest and have a genuine curiosity about how the other person is feeling and an ability to listen to what they are saying and not interject with your own feelings when the atmosphere is highly charged.
It is important to remember that these feelings and natural and normal and show that the person actually cares about the situation. Appreciating the feelings of the other person can help dissolve your difficult conversations.
For more please click here - (URL to your webpage BBS)
BLOG 6 - Break down the barriers and face-up to difficult conversations in your business...
Mastering the art of difficult conversations can help reduce the hassle, the stress and the challenges in your business.
Managing difficult conversations well using the skills shared in this BBS (URL to the BBS) can propel you to both greater profits and to more success in your business. Here are 4 helpful hints for you when faced with a difficult conversation:
· Decide on whether to deal with it or drop it – if you decide to drop it then you must move on, if you deal with it then it must be seen through to its resolution otherwise you will lose credibility.
· Extend an invitation to have the discussion – make it sound like a positive meeting, not a reprimand and make it clear you are looking to resolve the issue. This prevents the other party being defensive from the outset.
· Pursue a learning conversation - using the three truths, be sure to seek out the third truth and this is the key to resolution.
· Acknowledge your differences - the feelings in your two contrasting views, but seek mutual understanding and look to move forwards together.
Click here (URL to your webpage BBS) to start treating difficult conversations as a learning opportunity and make them a value added part of your business.
BLOG 7 - The three truths – the truth about difficult conversations in your business is out there…
Like Mulder and Scully, we all know the truth is out there. Mulder based his belief on his gut, how he felt and his previous experiences.
Scully based hers on science, facts and something real and tangible. In fact, for the truth to really be fully recognised you have to have a little bit of both.
For any difficult conversation to have a successful outcome you must address the 3 truths:
· Their truth – learn their story, ask what has happened from their point of view and how that made them feel, really listen and do not interrupt, even if you disagree. Once you understand their point, it may influence what you say, and you may learn something you did not know.
· Your truth – Share your story, express as well as you can your side of the story, share your version of events, your feelings and beliefs, your concerns, and intentions. Avoid blame or accusations. State the facts.
· The third truth – Solve the problem together, work towards a solution through mutual understanding, then with the facts, issues and feelings you have shared seek a new way forward that will work for both of you.
To read more on how to make the 3 truths work for your business click here
Engaging E-mails
Make difficult conversations easier and more valuable...
Are you avoiding difficult conversations with your employees, customers or suppliers?
If you avoid a difficult discussion it is unlikely that the issues around it will disappear. Instead the issues will linger and nag you,and in most cases will make it harder to resolve.
Difficult conversations are vital and a necessary aspect of running your business.
So why not build your ‘difficult conversation’ skills by clicking on the button below...
Go here to read ‘Dissolve Difficult Conversations’
We all know those conversations that we dread, but if we develop the skills to make the discussion constructive and with a clear purpose,the outcome can be a positive one.
In this edition of Business Bitesize you will learn, in the time it takes to drink a cup of tea:
- the 3 key skills to develop.
- how to seek out the 3 truths at play.
- the value of the third truth.
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